Need natively english speaking person
Community Forums/General Help/Need natively english speaking person
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| Hi I need a natively english speaking person to correct me some text. It's about 15kB, so it may take a half an hour or so. No payment by now, but I'll put your name into the credits. Thanks |
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| Well, you seem to speak English fine, but I'd be happy to help, if I can. Won't be until Monday, though. No credits required. :) |
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| Actually, I'd need it ASAP :) but we'll see if I still need it on Monday. Thanks a lot for the offer! |
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| Ah, OK. I need to go out soon so I can't help. I'm sure there must be another Blitzer that can, though. ;) |
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| there must be another Blitzer that can, though. doesn't seem so. I probably should stop holding my breath then. |
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| There's more non-native speakers than native ones, I guess. :-? |
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| You really need a non-native speaker, as they will likely have learned proper English in school. Native speakers generally massacre English. |
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| Native speakers generally massacre English. As do non-native speakers, just in different ways. (the problem with non-native speakers is that they often use 'technically correct' English, but it still contains odd, unnatural word choices) |
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| It is probably too late, but if you need a task to be done quickly and seriously, i suggest to hire someone on elance.com or freelancer.com. Be specific about what you need, about the deadline, about the maximum cost, study the profiles of some freelancers and send them a job offer. An alternative to make it happen. Good luck |
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| fiverr.com is great for such things. |
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| I'd be happy to help if you still haven't found anyone. |
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| I'd help, but I'm from Yorkshire. So I don't technically speak English (it's more a loose dialect of Viking). |
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| hi, thanks. it's really more about grammar. what you can say and what sounds totally wrong. I do espcially have problems in telling a story using presence forms... or however you call that ;), eg. the man walks down the street. then he sits down and drinks a coffee. is that correct? Or do I need to say the man is walking down the street. then he's sitting down and is drinking a coffee. how's that anyway, is sitting down and drinking, and is drinking or and he is drinking; You see, a lot of situations I am completely lost in. |
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| Its probably not a good example as I'd expect it to be fleshed out with why/how he walks down the street/body language etc. i'd also want to know where he's having his coffee. Does he sit outside a cafe? Or does he have a flask and just sits on the pavement. Etc. I'm no JK Rowling, obviously. |
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| The first can work if it is spoken dialogue "The man walks down the street, then he sits down and drinks a coffee." but it is just a fragment and lacks context. In my hypothetical character narration the 'man' has probably been established, "This man ... " however would allow you to introduce a man, but again it is just an opener to a larger narrative the character is saying. And as it is only 15k as in byte length not monetary value a brief part of it could have been posted in a code box. Unless you are a bit leery of anyone running off with it, but having said that, the code gets automatically listed as public domain in the archives, I am not 100% about stuff on the forums themselves. Then having it as a miniscule download negates that issue. Back to the first bit about a man walking down a street, spoken you can get away with that, you don't normally pad out a conversation about the surroundings or the feeling of the brisk wind, but as a book narrative it has as much meat on it as a Linda McCartney breast fillet, for those that don't know none, she only does vegetarian and or vegan meals. My last job had a predominantly eastern European work force and although towards the end it was segregated between two nationalities, when we first started getting employees from further afield, their English was book English, so speaking to a real Englishman was nothing like they had ever expected, only news readers and the upper class that they would not socially interact with speak that way (and toffeer), that and you knew the book was written by an American when they would ask about things using the American term, but I am not going to march on publishers to make two versions, one for people wishing to visit America and another England. |
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| Obviously too late now since you needed it 2 days ago but part of my day job involves correcting grammatical and spelling errors in documents. I'm a native English speaker with a good command of the English language - feel free to contact me in future for a task like this. I rarely touch the PC on the weekend and only really check this forum in the quiet hours at work which is why I didn't see your post until now. |
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| Thanks to all of you. I was talking about the beginning of a screenplay, that goes like this: A small group of voyagers is attacked by a gang of robbers. Amongst them is a woman with a newborn child. While the Voyagers are slaughtered, the woman achieves to hide the baby together with a mysterious chest in a nearby cave. As soon as she returns to her companions, she gets killed as well. Meanwhile the orphaned child is crying inside the cave. Suddently, a big wolf is stepping out of the dark, sneaking slowly up on the kid. But this newborn child has a unique destiny and so the wolf doesn't hurt or eat the baby, but gently adopts him and feeds him at her breast. The years are passing by and the baby turns into a boy, until he gets rejected by his wolf mother because after all he is still a human being. The wild child, hungry and desperate, soon learns how to steal milk from some farmers cows at night. But the farmers notice the loss of milk and one night they catch the boy. In a nearby village the people are trying to civilize this degenerate kid, tho without success and so he remains a stranger for all his live. He dies as an old man, but even after his death some people continously tell that they used to see him near the cave. To this very day ancient stories are told in the local pubs about the wolfchild and about the mysterious treasure chest that could make a man incredibly rich but is also guarded by the ghost of the wolfchild that, without any hesitation, would brutally kill anyone who came too close to the chest. For hundreds of years nobody has ever opened the chest und it would have remained like that, if our protagonists wouldn't have ... |
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| There is loads wrong with it ie A small group of voyagers ARE attacked by a gang of robbers. Amongst them [The robbers or the voyagers] is a woman with a newborn. While the Voyagers are BEING slaughtered, the woman is able to hide the baby, (and a mysterious chest in a nearby cave) or (in a nearby cave, containing a mysterious chest, BUT IS killed SOON AFTERWARDS. For example, on the most fundamental level, shouldn't it all be a in a past tense? (I would offer to help, but I am recovering from a stroke, and Im not confident enough yet of my recovery to be sure of a good job) |
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| thanks. isn't the group attacked, which is singular? And of course the women is not amongst the robbers ... sorry to hear about that stroke, hope you'll recover soon! (not shure if this was correct English eighter ;-) ) |
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| (bookmarked) |
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| "isn't the group attacked, which is singular" Yes. (And of course no) If the group of people was an army column, or patrol, then "is" attacked would be more appropriate. If on the other hand they are simply patrons of a coffee shop then "are" would be better. The example generally given to show this is "Real Madrid is.." vers "Real Madrid are.." Re Stroke, Thank you. My spelling is a lot worse, my typing is really really bad, I get a headache if a I type with both hands for any length of time. And my writing is printed rather than cursive. Replying to this thread is part of my occupational therapy. But I do feel lucky to have recovered to the extent I have. And have a new pride in the NHS |
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| Screenplays or stage plays work differently to book paragraphs, this reads like a brief plot synopsis, or someone discussing the prologue as a film studies assignment (pretending that the movie has been made and has been watched by someone tasked with writing about it). If you do mean a screenplay, it would look more like this INT Cave at night A baby's crying can be heard echoing in the distance. INT Cave at night A baby is resting on a large (or what ever size) wooden chest still crying. This is not two alternate versions of one piece but the same setting but further into the cave. A script is just a guideline filled in with optional storyboards and is mainly used for dialogue. if for example there is a fire near the chest the flames could possibly be seen from the cave entrance (Which would be listed as EXT cave at night as we are not in the cave at the moment.) Heavily edited my end excerpt from Pulp Fiction
EXT. HOLLYWOOD APARTMENT BUILDING – MORNING
The Chevy Nova PROPELS itself into traffic.
INT. NOVA (MOVING) – MORNING
Jules is behind the wheel,Vincent in the passenger seat and
Marvin in the back.
VINCENT
...Ever seen that show "COPS?" I
was watchin' it once and this cop
was on it who was talkin' about this
time he got into this gun fight with
a guy in a hallway. He unloads on
this guy and he doesn't hit anything.
And these guys were in a hallway.
It's a freak, but it happens.
JULES
If you wanna play blind man, then go
walk with a Shepherd. But me, my
eyes are wide fuckin' open.
Snip
Vincent turns to the backseat with the .45 casually in his
grip.
VINCENT
Marvin, what do you make of all this?
MARVIN
I don't even have an opinion.
VINCENT
C'mon, Marvin. Do you think God came
down from Heaven and stopped the
bullets?
Vincent's .45 goes BANG!
Marvin is hit in the upper chest, below the throat. He GURGLES
blood and SHAKES.
JULES
What the fuck's happening?
VINCENT
I just accidentally shot Marvin in
the throat.
JULES
Why the fuck did you do that?
VINCENT
I didn't mean to do it. I said it
was an accident.
JULES
I've seen a lot of crazy-ass shit in
my time –
VINCENT
– chill out, man, it was an accident,
okay? You hit a bump or somethin'
and the gun went off.
JULES
The car didn't hit no motherfuckin'
bump!
I trimmed a lot of the dialogue out, but it wasn't need, I also didn't have to trim out the alternate where marvin is still alive and is shot a second time (which results in the exterior shot blood splat). But as a script, you can see little in way of set dressing bar the initial few establishing lines. The scene plays out in a car, not much more to say. If how ever I looked for a novelisation of the film, that scene could be padded out with more description, but also as it is heavy on the dialogue it would just end up nothing but lines of "Moo" "Baa" alternating between the two, but as there isn't a third voice till Marvin is asked a question, you don't need to establish which is Jules and which Vincent after the initial few lines. You can spice it up with "Moo!" Vincent yelled etc, but if the reader knows it's Vincent's line we don't need the word yell all the time when ! is in the quotes. |
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| Hi jfk EO-11110: Here's my rewrite of your short story. I'm not a genius with literature either. (Writing wasn't my strong point in school.) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A small group of passengers arrives on an uncharted beach, and shortly after they are attacked by robbers. Among those travelers, a woman carries her newborn in her arms. As she witnesses her friends being slaughtered, she dashes inland to a nearby cave, carrying her child with her. Inside the cave she encounters a chest. She decides to hide her baby in it. As she exits the cave, the gang finds her, and she is also killed. The child, now orphaned, starts to cry, but remains hidden in the cave. Later, a large wolf finds its way towards the child, sneaking closer. Yet, this newborn has a unique destiny, and no harm shall come to him from any beast. The female wolf starts to care for the child, first offering breast milk and then treats of raw meat. The years went by, and that baby has become a boy. The mother wolf, long past her days of caring for the boy, wanders away one day never to return. The the boy is now alone. Having become hungry and desperate, this feral child learns how to steal milk from a famer's cows in daring nocturnal raids. But, the farmers notice the intrusion and one night, the boy is caught. In a nearby village the people tried to domesticate this wild child, but there was no success. The kid remained aloof and wild for the rest of his life. The child eventually grew to be old, and later died. Even past the notice of his death, people tell of seeing some wild-child by that cave. To this very day, ancient stories prevail, are told and retold in pubs and gatherings, of a wolf-child and the mysterious treasure chest guarded by him, that anyone coming near his treasure chest shall be killed by him. For hundreds of years, no one man has dared encounter and open that chest, and it would have remained so, but until recently, someone did.... -------------------------------------------------------- Well, that was kind of spooky. |
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| Thanks Andy! Sounds perfect for a voice from the off. Couple of things. no beaches in the alps, the baby won't be inside the chest, but being put into the cave just like the chest. After his death, he won't protect the chest, but his ghost will do so. Anyhow, nice style. Now let's see if I can get James Earl Jones for the voice part... |
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| Yes, I'm sure James Earl Jones will do just fine,... he was also Darth Vader. |
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