"best way" and the way it is normally done, at least on Windows from what I know:
1 panel per button, using the WinAPI function to change gadget z coordinate and move the panel behind mouse (visually only).
Then, whenever the button is entered, the panel is as well.
Alternative: only use panels, no buttons at all. This would work better and allow you "full control" over the visual style of the button, what you don't have otherwise (unless you use bare windows standard. because manifests aren't said to work)
There is not much more you can do as this is the way its fixed into MaxGUI. You would need to exchange the underlying code to react to other stuff than that. (surely, it would be far easier if it was "fixed" that far that all gadgets fire all events instead of only part gadgets part of events as it currently is)
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